Ask Francine – My Compatriots in Overcoming Evil

U.S. House Rep. Ike Skelton, from Missouri’s Fourth District, supports the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell (DADT) policy and says he will oppose any effort to repeal it. Did I mention that he’s the chairman of the House Armed Services Committee? Praise the Lord, he hates the gays like a good Democrat conservative should. Despite the fact that he’s in a political party that headed straight down the wrong pathway, he’s holding his ground as a true Christian.
The only problem with being a Christian conservative, according to Ike, is that his constituents don’t care about gays openly serving in the military.
“I was everywhere in my district, everywhere. It just wasn’t raised. There are others things on people’s minds, like jobs and the economy,” he said.
So Ike’s fighting this holy battle on his own. He can’t rally his troops because they don’t care. I fear that the entire district will be sucked down to Hell in a sinkhole for their lack of Christian outrage. What a horrible place that Fourth District must be.
When you add the fact that recent polls of military personnel ( found that sexual orientation is not a burning issue for veterans and that being gay has no bearing on a service member’s ability to perform his or her duties … I’m convinced that the moral fiber of this country is as weak as a piece of cheesecloth.
Ike thinks this way, too. I called him and told him that at the dinner table, families should not talk about things that are not sunshiny, blue and lilac-scented. He agreed with me, for he told reporters that talking about the filthy homos at home would curb a child’s growth and stunt their Christian soul.
“What do mommies and daddies say to their 7-year-old child?” he asked, and added that his “biggest concern are the families.”
Three cheers to my hero Ike Skelton. He’s the Man of men, the Hero of heroes, and the pathfinder for other wonderful leaders in our country, like the ones showcased below.
Even with the Demoncrats in the White House and leading Congress, we will win. We shall overcome the evil in the world (like all of you sinners reading this—even if you’re straight). You should have a Bible in your hands, not this filthy rag called Camp.
I’ll be praying for you this summer from my beachfront house in Aruba. I feel closer to Jesus near the equator. I don’t know why. Just don’t ask, and I won’t tell.

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