Even after all the June celebrations are over, I still have that Pride mindset. During my prideful moments, sometimes I consider all the fascinating famous people in history who were gay or lesbian and who among them I would invite to dinner. I’ve booked a seven-top at my favorite imaginary haunt for the soiree. These six celebrities should make everyone in the LGBT community proud to say they’re one of us.
Seated at the head of the table will be the den mother I never had when I was a kid. Gertrude Stein is tough. After all, she kept the likes of Ernest Hemingway, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Pablo Picasso, and James Joyce in line in her Paris apartment. She’ll probably remind us what a lost generation we are today with our technology and gadgets. Some sweet, sweet tea should relax her.
I told Michelangelo to be on time for appetizers at 7 p.m. He’s been spending a lot of time painting an enormous ceiling, and he tends to lose track of time in this tedious endeavor. He says it’s the chance of a lifetime and he was commissioned by someone big from the Church. If the friars only knew they had a gay man brush-stroking in the house of the Lord. The confessional is the second fresco on the left.
Don’t be afraid of my third guest for the festivities. It’s Virginia Woolf, and she’s bringing her latest book for me to read. She’s happily married, even though she seems to be living the Vita loca with a woman on the side, Vita Sackville-West. I think this woman could be the muse for all her amazing success as a writer.
If I need any help calculating the tip, I could call on the greatest economist of this last century to help me do the math. John Maynard Keynes agreed to dinner, if it was free. This guy knows where all the great sales are. A gay man and his vast disposable income are soon parted … unless it’s within the house of Keynes. Maybe I’ll convince him to buy a round for everyone.
I’m simply bananas about Jazz Age entertainer Josephine Baker joining us. This gal can act, sing and dance (the Banana Dance, for example), whether it’s in the Big Apple or in her adopted country of France. Among her friends are Princess Grace of Monaco, Prince Rainier III and Jackie Onassis, all of whom financed a retrospective revue of her career in 1975 to celebrate her 50th anniversary in show business. She is indeed the cat’s meow!
I hear America singing their praises for my friend and poet Walt Whitman. I look forward to leaving to the day what belongs to the day. Whitman is my noiseless, patient friend until we sit down for our feast this evening. O Captain! My captain! The day is nearly done. O the bleeding drops of red wine that shall fill our glasses tonight.
There are plenty of great achievers in our LGBT communities that should make everyone beam with pride. This dinner would be epic fun for me and my pals around the dinner table. Here’s hoping you have an epic Pride season this summer with all your great friends!
This article of perpetual pride is brought to you by that guy with his napkin neatly folded on his lap. That mannerly guy is Ron Blake, and he can be found with his elbows off the table in Phoenix, Ariz.